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NO HIDDEN TREASURE

The thief who slipped out of a Warwick hotel on Saturday night with two suit cases belonging to a boarder found a surprise awaiting him when he examined the contents. The cases contained 60 left-footed rubber shoes. They were the samples of a commercial traveller. The suit cases and shoes were discovered yesterday under Helene-street Bridge, where they had evidently been tossed in disgust by the thief.
- Warwick Daily News (Qld) Monday 3 October 1932.

LUNATICS PRANK

SYDNEY Monday.
A man, who was a former inmate of Callen Park Lunatic Asylum, walked into a hotel at Mosman, glared at the barmaid for a few minutes and then jumped over the bar and drew an iron bar from his pocket, smashing 24 bottles of wine and 10 of whisky. He then recrossed the bar and sat on a seat in the room. The police arrested him.
- Daily Standard (Brisbane, Qld) Monday 29 October 1923.

Olympian visits Scarborough pub

LAST week 'Short Rounds' ran a story about the Scarborough Hotel's genrous offer of a free meal to all Olympic and Paralympic medallists. Steve, the manager of Cooneys Hotel in Wollongong, heard about the offer and showed up at the Scarborough dressed in a Cuban Olympic athlete's tracksuit with a 1975 Woonona netball gold medal around his neck. Complete with Cuban accent he told the publican he had come to collect his free meal! When the Scarborough publican asked the five-foot-nothing 'Cuban' what he had won the medal for, he replied: "Heavy-weight boxing, man." He was refused the meal, but given a free beer for his efforts! -Illawarra Mercury October 19 2000

OFF KEY

Les Needham hasn't been pulling beer at James-st.'s Victoria Hotel (Perth WA) long, but he's had a lot of laughs from the cosmopolitan custom. This week a Chinaman, wanting the celebrated half - and - half, slid up to the counter and said, 'Arp and arp.' A rookie at the lingo, Les retorted: "What do you think this is — an orchestra!"
- Mirror (Perth, WA) Saturday 13 March 1948.

MELBOURBE BEER

Our contemporary thinks it not at all improbable that ale from Melbourne-on-Yarra may become as famous as beers from Burton-on-Trent and complacently reflects that 'if Australia can meet England on the vatted field, and beat her on her beer barrels, there is undoubtedly a great future awaiting this Austral continent'.
-Australian Brewers' Journal, December 1891.

BEER BURGLAR

For several days the proprietor of Skinner's Hotel, Murwillumbah, and bar tenders, noticed that the beer was going off fast, and were at a loss as to the cause. An aboriginal, Billy Moore, was caught red handed coming from beneath the house with a couple of billy cans. The beer cellar is situated under the house, and is barricaded with battens and barbed wire. Moore, who must have had an accomplice, tunnelled underneath the barricade, and turned the tap and filled his billies. He was sent along to Grafton gaol for a month.
- The Bundaberg Mail and Burnett Advertiser (Qld.) Friday 25 April 1913.

LAST LAUGH

Brown: "Young Smart, of the Grand Hotel, has got the laugh turned against him in his little joke against the Blazes Fire Insurance Company."
Robinson: "How?"
Brown: "He insured five hundred
cigars, smoked them, and then sent in a claim on the ground that they were destroyed by fire."
Robinson: "And they laughed at him I suppose."
Brown: "No, they had him arrested on a charge of setting fire to his own property."
- Camperdown Chronicle (Vic.) Tuesday 10 March 1914.

GREAT BEER MYSTERY

Shepparton (Victoria) will have ample beer for the Christmas festivities. Two hotels were closed in yesterday's thirsty sultry afternoon. Partial cause of the drought was that a truckload of beer consigned to Shepparton was wrongly diverted to Wodonga. Arrival of supplies will enable all hotels to be in operation this afternoon. One enterprising publican, faced with dwindling supplies, made a special trip to the brewepr in Melbourne and returned with a load of bottles - to the delight of his customers.
- Shepparton Advertiser (Vic.) Friday 24 December 1948.

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	Mick Roberts on Green Park Hotel, Darlinghurst
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